Be Still My Heart

When I lived in Detroit I directed a number of programs, one being the mentoring program on Thursday nights. This was a middle and high school program and such a unique thing. We had 40 incredibly committed adults and 70 incredibly tough but beautiful kids that came together and did many different things. These nights changed me- may have something to do with the role I'm in now. But, each Thursday night this father like figure Phil came strolling in- tall, with white hair and a deep booming voice. Every stinkin Thursday he'd run into me and stop dead in his tracks and cover his eyes and loudly proclam .."Be still my heart". He was so kind to me- like a proud dad and truly encouraged me when the incredibly tough part of the crowd we served would surface. I was so well taken care of in Detroit...but...I digress.

I was sitting at my pink table (pink..right wizzy??) in the dining room the other day with a smile that wouldn't go away watching all that was going on around me and those words boomed in my head..."Be still my heart".

Next to me was Emanuel, dominating at multiplication.com

Behind me was Tung dancing, with reckless abandon

At the TV was New Sudan and Ahmed practicing their bow and arrow

From the hallway I could hear Nyasabit and Awata creating masterpieces in the craft room

In the kitchen fixing things were two incredible men from my church that are so committed to this house and the ministry that happens here.

Downstairs were victory shouts from Joe Joe or Nathan after a completed ping pong duel.

Be still my heart. This is my life, my real life and I'm incredibly blessed to be in this place. Not everybody gets to do this. But, I do and I know this is exactly where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to be doing. These kids have stolen my heart. They are so grateful and kind and teach me more about love and grace than all the Sunday school lessons I've heard combined. Gosh, I'm in love.

Check out these pics...you'll see why!!!

Some Wii action

Dance moves. boom.
New Sudan--Be.Still.My.Heart, seriously...i might just keep him.

You see what I mean?? Incredible!!!

In other GREAT news...my sister is engaged and boy are we excited!!! Congrats Kell and Andy- thanks for humoring me and taking this pic...not sure who was more excited at this point ;)

and then grace happened..

We're 4 weeks into school already in these parts. Hard to believe, as usual, life is whizzing by. I count my blessings daily, but voice my prayers probably a lot more.

It was a rough start to the year. I had a new part-time job, a new business and old and new kids at powerhouse who I love more than i want to somtimes. I was dealing with police officers, parents, strep throat and little sleep. A whole lot of not good combination. It was a new ballgame to me- a new reality of what I'm dealing with and a whole big realm of the unknown. I felt a bit scared, I wondered if I could really do this - in fact I knew I couldn't and fell flat on my face (or in my bed) in the arms and grace of our Jesus.

Then, a Friday came around. I usually take my kids on field trips on Fridays. They don't get a lot of opportunities. It's crazy to me how their stories can be so similar to the stories of my kids from Detroit- right here in little Sioux Falls where I was born and raised in the shelter of my perfect little neighborhood. But, it's the truth so onward we go. It was cold outside of course but we had planned to go 'orienteering' at the Outdoor Campus in Sioux Falls. I was already preparing myself for the negative attitudes, the complaints, the stubborness that so many of them cling to. We had to walk through the trails, find 4 points and race back to the bus all in hopes of a pizza party. I had my doubts.

But, then I got a glimpse of grace...right before my very eyes....

(some of the excited orineteers)

They were excited, they were kind, they were ready and they LOVED it. We got lost, we walked way further than we had to and in circles over and over again, and then we found the 4 points and had a footrace with another team to the bus. The whole time I got to hear the hearts of four beautiful kids on my team as we wandered through the trees (blessing in disguise, that lost part i guess). I got to hear them dream and laugh and work with each other to achieve. Best of all, I got to see them be positive, embrace the weather and encourage one another.

Incredible how Christ shows up in my moments of little faith. The moments where I question and wonder if this is what I'm supposed to be doing each day, if it even matters. Then He shows up and works through these precious children to teach me and grow me. It's my prayer they experience Him, too, through the few hours we spend together each day.

and my top ten reasons I haven't been blogging,,,

...in pictures of course, because it's much more interesting that way!

Soaking up every last second with this girl before we become phone besties again. Luckily we're really good at it, but, boy was it a treat to have her here the last six months.

Starting a cupcake business and seriously living a dream. I still wonder sometimes if it's for real. check out www.jcakesbakery.com. Huge shout out to my forever friend and her hubs the Norris'

Hanging with these guys again. School started out of nowhere and I have 17 lovlies joining me at the house everyday. I would do just about anything for these kids and am excited for round 2 with them and some new ones!

Fall flavors :). Check out the website- but with a new season brings new flavors. Currently taking suggestions! This is caramel apple, and is to die for (but, i maybe say that about them all- just ask my hips :)

Back to school picnic at the park- one of many summer events. This is a little piece of my Heaven right here. Love these kids and this park and the relationships I've been able to build in the neighborhood over the summer. I'm seriously again living a dream- and the faithfulness of Christ literally in my backyard.

Two of my bests, married. Best day of the summer- seriously fun party and happy as can be for these two who mean the world to me.

Living it up at the 'sand at the lake' as Joy calls it in the last few weeks of summer with my BFF, forever friend, and her babe. We took full advantage of summer days and became tight with coffee shop owners, thrift stories and the mad streets of downtown Sioux Falls. F-U-N

Add in a new part-time teaching gig with ELL kiddos, a gaggle of new piano students, my dear family and friends...life is good. I hit the brick wall of 'need to sleep more' yesterday and happily collapsed into my bed thinking of how incredibly blessed I am. I am doing a lot of everything I love and though somedays I wonder if I am going to make it- I wake up everyday knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I live the grace and mercy and faithfulness of a Jesus who loves me more than I can comprehend. Can it get much better than that?

xoxo, jess

1.

Nanc

I was once young and lacked the wisdom I hold now. I once was mortified at the thought of becoming my mother. But, I recently stopped at her house one Saturday morning to find her with a cup of coffee in hand, cookbook on her lap and a talk show on the tube (She was also wearing a fleece and wrapped in a blanket...this was June- that I have not inherited from her!!)It was in this moment I realized how much I was becoming her. And in my old age and as I grow in wisdom...I am so proud to follow in her steps- the beautiful, intelligent, strong woman she is :)

A list for your enjoyment:
1. Have you seen the faces I make? In my very expressive (and fast- that's not from my mom..) speaking I make her faces (and her mother made those same faces, precious)

2. Shoes at the door, not in the closets where they belong...DRIVEs ME NUTS. I used to wonder why she always freaked about us putting our shoes away. Now I promptly walk straight to the closet. I am becoming her.

3. I always bring a sweater. When I lived in Detroit I taught this lesson to many and proudly stated how Nancy always brings a sweater (and usually wears it next to my all-seasons shorts clad father)

4. The Heupel sweet tooth. We all have it. In my recent baking endeavors it has become glaringly obvious that this trait has been lovingly passed to me...and my hips.

5. The teacher voice. When we were both teaching during Vacation Bible School at church a friend walked by the room and thought it was me teaching when it in fact was my veteran teacher mother. Grateful for this one too.

6. Entertaining. Since living in Sioux Falls I have humbly tried to be the hostest with the mostest and use the cute plates and dishes that we so unneccesarily collect in the backs of the cupboards. Though, welcoming and providing for people in my home is something I see modeled from her all the time!!!

7. Cookbooks, oh the cookbooks. I used to make so much fun of her growing shelf and cupboards full of cookbooks. Now it's guarenteed at least once a year I find a cookbook as a gift- usually from her that I 'read' cover to cover (see #4...)

8. My mom has taught forever- at least as a kid that's how it seems. And, as retirement inches nearer and nearer (and her victory dance gets rehearsed) I see her gift with children and am blessed beyond words to share that passion with her as we now work side by side with 'my kids' (even if they make her crazy ;)

9. I don't like to admit this one....but recently my whole family left Sioux Falls. I've never been in Sioux Falls by myself- and when I hugged my dad goodbye as he was leaving for Canada to fish with the boys I silently screamed through his window...'call me when you get there'. Then chuckled to myself as I remembered how I didn't understand this requirement until I was the 'mom' waving goodbye. Whoa..reality hits!


I could continue ...probably forever as daily I laugh to myself at how funny life is and how honored I am to become my mother. She's my biggest fan and one of the most incredible people i know.

Love you Ma!!

JUNE

Well June has come and it almost gone and I'm no longer surprised at how fast life is going. Though, through ups and downs and really loving every single minute of it!

Here is a brief rundown:

June 1st: Went to Vegas on the best vacation ever. Of course there are no pictures because you know what they say about Vegas (actually, I took none and my fellow vacationers have a bunch of them). It was so so so much fun!!

Immediately from the airport with sparkles from Vegas in my hair I set off to church for VBS- Pandamania! There are also no pictures of this as I was in full kid mode with panda ears and hiding from 'secret Roman guards'. You missed out this year.

Then my BFF from high school got married and Joy and I got to personally attend are butts off for her wedding. We also happened to make the wedding cake and all the cupcakes too. This was a blast and the beginnings of some excitement!!

Next I met up with my college friends in the OC and laughed into the wee hours of the night over the fabulous game of 'Things'. I highly recommend. Since college four years ago, weddings and now babies too it was incredible to sit around the table with these people I hold so dear. Even more incredible to be able to sleep through the night until I wanted in the morning as the babies portion does not apply to me :). Little sleep, lots of fun- so worth it!

Under God's Canopy started at Wesley for the summer. I'm heading up the middle school crowd this summer and with some anxieties about entertaining middle schoolers from 8am-6pm ahead of time- we had an awesome first day. We did some photography, videography, dancing, skits, ice cream, crafts, catch phrase, nail polishing and just time spent together. And, they were SO GOOD. All anxieties out the window and looking forward to this week. We have 5 Wednesdays left with plenty of activites planned to keep them out of trouble. My loves...Joe Joe and Damius

A few days later on Saturday at Meldrum Park we had a Water Fun Day for the Whittier Neighborhood. We did slip n slide, water balloons, sand castles and the kids' (and volunteers!!) favorite...dump buckets of water on Jessi. Cute. Regardless though there were about 30 out who enjoyed probably the most beautiful day of the summer yet and we had a ball. I'm so thankful for the people who volunteered- I couldn't have done it without them. We have two more community events planned for the summer. So much fun and truly what makes me my heart beat!

And next up, JULY! Wedding showers, basketball camp, bachlorette parties, Wild Water West, the lake, and hopefully days full of sunshine.

xoxo

one month

One month later. One million things later. Where does the time go.

So much has happened. I'll give you a super brief rundown:

girls night with makeovers, nails, and late night viewings of Modern Family after Jessi fell asleep- happens everytime. Field trip to Auntie Annie's Pretzels, we all made and ate our own pretzel the kids had a blast. 2nd chance animals rescue to tour and play with puppies. The kids were sure the black lab Jade needed to come home with us. Though I LOVE labs, I highly disagreed (for now!). Homework, alka seltzer rockets, painting t-shirts, and cakes and goodies from so many people. 6 weeks of soccer ending with a freezing cold (on May 14th- what?!) community picnic in the park. Was a huge hit with the kids- and even caused some to hit but thats a story for another day. Completed English classes with my adults who I will miss dearly. Had my first piano recital with my students who did an awesome job!! Ran another 5K and improved my time. Celebrated my golden birthday with the best friends EVER was surprised, loved and celebrated for a whole week. I am so blessed. The list could probably go on and on. We have been on the move (as if I would have it any other way!)

However, as I was going through pictures to share I found this one:

and coudln't help but to stop and smile. I'm not even sure who took it and for some you may be thinking it's a bit odd. But, for me, I need to tatoo it to my foreheard, or I suppose my heart will do for now. I get so caught up in the busyness sometimes. I'm constantly walking circles in my house trying to keep kids in line, or wiping down the counter, or folding the blanket for the 6th time on the back of the couch. I'm writing lists, checking off lists, and squeezing out every minute of every day. But, I have to remember to stop sometimes and treasure the moments with these dear kids that have become such a constant part of my life. I need to let the garbage overflow, and not worry about the loud noises from the basement (ok, maybe thats a bit too far), but sit and really listen to his stories which will fascinate the life out of you and engage in what is important to him in that moment. Sometimes this will be the only time he's really listened to in this day, the only moment will he'll feel as important as he really is and I need to remember to embrace it as often as possible. Sometimes by 6 o clock I'm ready to rip my hair out or sometimes already have, but I just need to remember these precious moments with 'my kids' and revel in the privelege and blessing I have to work with them. After losing my precious grandmother a few weeks ago my grandpa says probably almost everytime I visit him, "We all can learn a lesson from this, even me. We just never know what will happen, what tomorrow will bring". And as I sit and hold back the tears or at least hope he can't see them with his limited vision suddenly my lists go out the window and my beeping phone seems irrelevant and I embrace the precious moments with him as he now learns to live life without his beloved.

However, if Joe Joe keeps farting while I sit next to him, I may need to listen from a distance. :)

love well xoxo, jm

Meldrum Soccer League

Thanks to a grant from the Sioux Falls Area Community Foundation we started the Meldrum Soccer League this past Saturday. When I worked in Detroit a fabulous mentor and friend, John Ribbing, started a flag football league. I've written about his program on this blog before and was one of the most popular programs for the kiddos at City Mission. I had the privelege of helping out with this program for a couple seasons and was so excited to use what I had seen and learned in Detroit in the Whittier neighborhood.

Many kids in the Whittier neighborhood don't have opportunity to be on organized sports teams. We have a beautiful park right next door to my house and I couldn't get the idea of a sports league out of my head pretty much from the day I moved in. Any day the sun is shining and you drive by Meldrum there are at least 400 kids playing at the park :). Seemed like a logical plan to get some teams going over there.

So, after writing and receiving a grant, ordering some soccer balls, rounding up the troops and of course purchasing some scooby doo snacks, the Meldrum Soccer League began. It was rainy, but I think soccer and rain just have to go together. We had about 30 kids come out, 15 volunteers and plenty of hot dogs to round out the day. The kids had a ball- literally :) and a brand new jersey thanks to Frank at Dakota Alliance soccer club. They thought this was the coolest thing ever, and they looked like the coolest things ever too.

I'm again amazed at the faithfulness of God even in what some would say are the little things- but they are big to me. What a humbling opportunity to simply play soccer and love on the Kingdom Christ has placed before us. I don't know why I'm always blown away by his faithfulness, for He has never let me down!

We have five Saturdays of soccer left, would love to have anyone join us to meet and love the kids of the Whittier neighborhood!